This is the case study of what we—and the press—are calling The Gary Experiment. We wanted to break down our strangest and most favorite email series to date, 1. Because people keep asking, and 2. Because we’ll take any excuse to talk about Gary again.
Gary here, I wrote a poem about my last day in the field because sometimes rhymes are the only way I know how to express myself. Here goes: The day started out like the rest on my mission, Woke up, grabbed my Crocs and some Tang from the kitchen.
Gary here, and I only have time for a quick dispatch because I completely forgot about Dale’s Tae Kwon Do match this afternoon. Last time I missed it he made me buy him an Arby’s prepaid debit card (didn’t even know they made those!) so that he could buy himself curly fries whenever he wanted. So, I can’t afford to miss it again—fiscally and emotionally.
Gary here, on another titillating Friday living my passion: private detectiving. On a dispatch call with my boss this morning I tried to sign off with, “Welp, as they say, TGIG!” That stands for Thank God It’s Gary—a joke I’ve made every Friday since I was 22 and according to court documents, the reason my first wife Judy divorced me.
Gary here, comin’ at you live from the field, or as I’ve now coined the operation: The #Garylog. I don’t know where to put that pound sign but looks cool huh? Maybe Obedient is rubbing off on me with my catchy mission name, but don’t tell my boss; I’m 78% sure he would NOT like it.