One hour, 20 one-liners about Oat Milk

Don Draper looks off into the distance with a twinkle in his eye before slowly sweeping his hand in a dramatic panning gesture for his captivated, boardroom audience, “Oatly: Oats don’t have nipples, but that’s never stopped us.”

Spoiler alert: that ad presentation got him a big fat standing O by the client.

IT’S OUR TURN NOW, DONNY D.

Yep, we’re doing our penultimate One-Liner Challenge about a product near and dear to our hearts and mugs: Oatly—a nutritious, vegan alternative to dairy milk made with (duh) oats. It’s made in Sweden, and has been impressing baristas everywhere with its high-heat performance. Don’t roll your eyes, coffee is VERY SERIOUS and oat milk is delicious and makes almond and soy milk seem like sewage.

On that note, here are the challenge rules again:

  • 1 brand or product

  • A firestorm of one-liner campaign concepts

  • Humor + fun = weapons of choice (duh)

  • All concocted in under one hour

  • Based solely off of the brief benefits they list on their home page or packaging. (Hell, we only have an hour, ok?? THERE’S NO TIME FOR A LARGER STRATEGY THAN THAT.)

  • Play fast and loose

  • Do your best

  • Trying and bombing is better than never trying at all

  • All’s fair in a creative ideation dump

  • Champions never cry

And here are the oat-est with the mostest (we brainstormed so, so, SO many worse jokes than that, if you can believe it):

  1. I can’t believe it’s not udder.

  2. Drinking cows’ milk? How dairy you.

  3. We sowed our wild oats. And it came out milk. Pretty cool.

  4. The most buzz-worthy drink to come out of Sweden since Absolut Vodka.

  5. An ungodly amount of vitamins and minerals. We’ll see you in health.

  6. Oat milk > bloat milk.

  7. The best thing to happen to your cold brew game since that cute barista got hired.

  8. Don’t have a cow, man.

  9. No added sugars, just naturally Sweden’d.

  10. Because almond milk is so 2017.

  11. Sweden gave us IKEA, then felt bad and gave us something that didn’t require so many instructions.

  12. Show us your oat face.

  13. O(at)MG, this tastes good.

  14. Foams so well you’ll foam at the mouth.

  15. Plant-based 24/7 unlike your part-time vegan friend Shannon.

  16. Save a cow, ride a cowboy who drinks oat milk.

  17. Vegan, vegetarian, or just want a healthier milk? Whatever floats your oat.

  18. Making non-dairy lattes great again. Y’know, MNDLGA.

  19. The antidOAT to bland, non-dairy milks.

  20. Dear soy milk, it’s not us, it’s you. xo, oat milk

*text message chime*