One hour, 22 one-liners about 7-Eleven

Did seeing the words “7-Eleven” cause your mouth to instantly water for Doritos or Laffy Taffy or a Slurpee? Hark! the power of the 7-Eleven brand. That, and it’s usually the last thing open when you need something weird or tasty or buzzy. BUT HEY, POWER IS POWER. We chose this brand as ur final One Liner Challenge because honestly we thought it would be hard and we happen to thrive on adversity and achieving comedic success against all odds. We were like, wait, why would someone choose 7-Eleven over gas stations or Walgreens. And the following 22 one-liners are that answer. At least the ones we could come up with in an hour.

SPEAKING OF RULES, here they are:

  • 1 brand or product

  • A firestorm of one-liner campaign concepts

  • Humor + fun = weapons of choice (duh)

  • All concocted in under one hour

  • Based solely off of the brief benefits they list on their home page or packaging. (Hell, we only have an hour, ok?? THERE’S NO TIME FOR A LARGER STRATEGY THAN THAT.)

  • Play fast and loose

  • Do your best

  • Trying and bombing is better than never trying at all

  • All’s fair in a creative ideation dump

  • Champions never cry

And now, the bounty of ridiculous campaign one-liners. May our rejected jokes that didn’t make this prestigious list rest in peace:

  1. Open from dusk ‘til afterparty.

  2. Undefeated Slurpee Kings 52 years running. Yes, Slurpee King is a thing.

  3. Helping your beer run be a sprint, not a marathon.

  4. We put the gas in gastrointestinal tract. And in your car. YOU’RE WELCOME.

  5. Making your life easier, one “Oh sh*t, we’re out of…” at a time.

  6. Your friendly neighbor you can borrow a cup of sugar from. And by cup of sugar we mean Big Gulp.

  7. You do the loitering, we’ll do the Lotto-ing.

  8. Burpee M-F, Slurpee S-S. That’s health, right?

  9. Sponsoring the munchies since 1927.

  10. You say snack attack like it’s a bad thing.

  11. Our good friends call us Sev Elev.

  12. Because CVS doesn’t even have taquitos. How inconvenient.

  13. On the corner of Doritos and 40 oz.

  14. If you don’t stop at a 7-Eleven is it even a road trip?

  15. Ice, Ice, Slurpee. (We hope you sung that.)

  16. 55,000 locations, basically that many types of energy drinks.

  17. You know you’ve made it when Beyonce names a song after you.

  18. Get what you need and get out. Fine print: you’ll also probably get a snack.

  19. Oreos without the ordeal. | Liquor without the line. | Fritos without the pharmacy.

  20. When you want dinner at 4am and dinner is chips. We got you.

  21. A quickie with all the convenience, none of the commitment.

  22. A store that sells hot nachos AND Pepto Bismol? Now *that’s* convenience.

*dinner bell*