The One-Liner Challenge: 90s face cleanser

Haters will say we can’t create 19 funny, marketing one-liners in under an hour. We say haters are just confused fans.

We also say, “YES WE CAN, MOM, AND WE WILL PROVE IT!”

Meet: The One-Liner Challenge. A game where we are both the challengers and the executioners. It’s like win/win but the opposite.

The rules:

  • 1 brand or product
  • A firestorm of one-liner campaign concepts
  • Humor + fun = weapons of choice (duh)
  • All concocted in under one hour
  • Based solely off of the brief benefits they list on their home page or packaging. (Hell, we only have an hour, ok?? THERE’S NO TIME FOR A LARGER STRATEGY THAN THAT.)
  • Play fast and loose
  • Do your best
  • Trying and bombing is better than never trying at all
  • All’s fair in a creative ideation dump
  • Champions never cry

We also welcome you to throw brand or product submissions our way to challenge the challengers. Just hit reply, ya dingos.

First up: Noxzema Original Cleansing Cream. Because everything from the 90s is back.

Here are the best of the bunch, in no particular order, and with a hearty dose of not taking ourselves too seriously. (To the 50+ we left on the cutting room floor: *shoulder squeeze*)

  1. Smells like a sleepover, works like a makeover.
  2. Skin so fresh and clean it inspired an Outkast song.
  3. Being an adult blows; but your face doesn’t have to show it.
  4. The world’s first breakout star. Literally.
  5. Tingles more than your first crush.
  6. Whoever smelt it, felt it (that Noxzema soft skin, that is).
  7. Clearing pores since 1920. (No, seriously.)
  8. Wipe that Friday night off your face.
  9. Noxzema to eczema: “Tag me in.”
  10. Because sleeping with your makeup on is like a bad one night stand: you’ll regret it in the AM.
  11. Passes the “baby butt cheek or adult face cheek?” confusion test.
  12. You’re tough as dirt. And now so is your face wash.
  13. Meteorologists lie, dermatologists don’t.
  14. Turns out, you can teach an old beauty staple new tricks.
  15. A lot of things happened in 1920. A guy named Ponzi came up with a sales scheme (bad). Noxzema is released to the masses (good).
  16. Always invigorated, often underrated.
  17. Helps fight actual zits, not the ones you earned in 1995 while playing Girl Talk.  
  18. You never forget the first one to get that close to your skin.
  19. Leave the boujee skin regimen to the ‘influencers.’

*Wrestling bell*

What did YOU do in the last hour?